最近 - 李圣杰

你最近不说话
怎麽了为什麽
是不是有什麽事让你不快乐
听说你最近很孤单
有点乱有点慌
可是我却不能够在你的身旁
你想要的
我却不能够给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路

爱我却不能给你我全部
我能给的
却又不是你想要拥有的
我们不适合也不想认输
好几次我们抱着彼此都是想要哭
你常解释这样的一切都只是开始
我觉得是所有的一切早就已结束
不想再约束
不要再痛苦
下一次会有更好的情路
这一次我们都能很幸福

DEC 15 2006 - I BLOG. DO U?

Wee!~ Got my 2 months pay (mind you this is the 1st time I'm taking that amount pay but still not enough) and bonus (peanuts la.. not that much. Got bonus good liao lor)..... Anyway, have to repay my 'debt' and getting a laptop so kinda going back to square 1 soon i guess. But I realise that eversince after i start to work, I have cut down my cab intake by a lot. That much so that, I feel a tiny little bit different, the used to be familiar smell and easiness is no longer there. Maybe realli kinda too long never take cab le. Woahahha... My 2nd month working and Christmas is jus next week, lots of shopping needs to be done and yet I have project that I need to hand in soon, and I do mean SOON! Haiz... For my better future, I hope it's all worthworth and I can bear it thru.

Gonna watch movie later with liyi , dini and of coz, her husband-to-be. Yeah!!! I going to attend my friend's wedding on 29th Dec 2006. And I am gonna buy something nice to wear on that day.. That is IF I feel rich enough to do so. Haha...

The year is coming to an end soon enough and finally I am no longer a boy who leech on someone. I am earning my own salary, securing a job and persuing my degree. Life is not as easy as how it used to be, I rarely have enough sleep some nights, mainly due to either work, coming back late or simply there is so much to do... Kinda lifeless le, not enough time to even do anything... But I gonna bear thru this. 2008, that is the year I will move out of this loop and climb upward.

Till then, I will be strong... I really hope I can make it thru.

LATELY

Being thinking a lot about us recently, and I clearly know that you are happy with him now. I let you go, I know. Therefore, I kept my words and remain silence. You might get to read about this, you may not…

I miss the time we spent together in Thailand and KL. I miss those days after we came back from Bangkok. Each and every little thing we did together back then can only remain as part of my memories with you...

Cried and hugged you because both you and I did something terribly wrong once. Yet, it brought us closer, much closer then before. We took leave and spent time together in KL, just you and me. You have to go over to Thailand for 2 weeks due to work commitment, and I have to coax you to go back home to prepare you stuff and wait for your sister to send you to airport. Those 2 weeks was busy and did try to find the time to call you back. You cried because I did not manage to call you as often as Daniel. That is touching. Never did I realize that you missed me that much till then. Went to fetch you when you landed on 11 Sept 05 2 plus am. I hid, and therefore you could not find me. Daniel told you that I didn’t come and you look awfully disappointed. I then walked behind you, a distance away, and you finally see me. The way you look into my eyes back then, I felt love. That pair of almost tearing eyes, I could fee how much you loved me. Yes I know you did. Only till now, a year plus later, I finally realized.

我會懷念妳的微笑, 因為喜歡你是沒有道理的. 原来我還是比想像中愛妳

12 DEC IS THE MOMENT OF WEALTH

Just 5 more days to go… I will be experiencing the moment of wealth… Getting my 1st official pay!~ No more allowances or part time ‘pea-like’ pay… This is my 1st full time job pay!~ Wee!!

There is so much I will like to get but I am keeping my fingers crossed. Now, I have burden to carry and should not be spending like water is free… hmmm… NAH!~ Heck care…. I want to get a new big leather watch… went down to guess and took a look a few days ago, but nothing look interesting, wohaha… then of course, I am eyeing this bag for like a century… still thinking if I should get it a not.. not forgetting the new limited edition CK One for men… And yes yes, I am getting maxonline wat to do… they give a free laptop wor.. Sorry la Singnet, you gonna lost 2 more customers (Liyi and me) real soon… Can you feel it? The joy of spending, trust me… nothing beats it so hell yes I am gonna enjoy the fruit I sow and I will not look back as I believe a beautiful and rosy path is awaiting for me… that is where I m heading to.

But till 12 Dec, I lead a poor brat life…

SILLY SAM HAS BEEN...

Silly Sam has been tiring busy with work. Silly Sam has been encountering loneliness after been single for quite a long while. Silly Sam has been missing all the late night parties on sunday nite and the good long rest in slumberland. Silly Sam has been working hard on his outlook, trying to look better and more confident. Remember... Nothing can bring him down. Don't start with him, coz u will never win.

CHEESECAKE... YUMMMMM....

Yeah.. Look that the pic.. Those words tell it all... CHEESECAKE. Well, Amy came over and we baked cheesecake, have not try it yet, will need to fridge it till 2molo. Had so much fun, and it is not that hard to bake a cheesecake lor. Damn fun. Haha..

1st you need to settle the base.... from this...



to this....



Then of coz the cheesecake... Gotta mix them all'



Spread the joy....



And add some heat.. Yeah!!! OMG... Why is there a crack?!??!? Argh!!!!! -.-"



-=tHe EnD=-

CRUSHED AND CRUSHES

Die la... Less than 1 week after break up, after so much hardship, finally single le. But why on earth must this happen!!! I am having a crush on someone... Die Die Die!!~ Worst, my stupid crush is like underage la. Only 15 years old... OMG... Haiz... And I think there is a 20 years old who likes me lor.. But... haha... well... erm... haha... Shifu, bless me please... I can't stop thinking le... I cant control myself... Argh... I dont have the fishing mood to even do my project...

伤心的歌

梦天长地久的梦
地老天荒还是梦
天真的我不曾犹豫
我现在只剩下心
不曾有过感动
不曾如此怦然心动
飘忽的你就是这样来去匆匆
错告诉我没有错
告诉我该怎么做
现在的我偷偷的说
我还没真正的错过
不要说的太多
不要说还有很多
你不要说还有很多
寂寞的我伤心的歌
是谁的错
我试着不再说
这里只有我日子一样过
一回头尝尽苦果
无法忘记
不知道我该如何哭泣
不知道如何欺骗自己
是否知道只有你
是否所有的点点滴滴
和那些醉人却心痛的故事
就在我尽情哭过之后
我就能入睡后忘记
只怕梦到你
我不要不要不要
我不要梦到你
不要梦到你
伤心的歌是谁的错

===========================================

我的寂寞是知道已经有人陪着你了.
我的伤心是知道我不曾那么的快乐了.
心痛就尽情的哭,冷冷的泪雨淋湿我心中的爱.
雨季过去,一切心酸都将曾过去.
阳光终会再来临,我的日子一定曾有感动.
今后我也不会想起你.

by: silly sam
===========================================

TRAGIC LOVE

This is not just another beautiful fairy tale we happen to read about sometime back when we were much younger. This is not just another love novel or puppy love story we come across everyday, in the normal world. This is sad but realistic life story of people in the scene. This is just on of the many tragic love stories that should be left untold, unheard or unseen.

Maybe it’s a true fact that the untouchable love should be left hidden deep down. For we all know that when it is out in the open, there is no turning back, to redo the mistakes or to even salvage the massive damages that it has cause, not only to them, but inclusive of people around them.

Long time ago from now, even before Christ was born, human fall in love with each other. Yet, there are some souls out there, chose a route that is different, that is full of hardships and uncertainty; A route that will never be able to receive the blessing from their loved ones. That they choose to love someone they are not suppose to.

It is an important decision in life I believe. A choice that might changes not only them but many others around them. The struggle between morale values and the inner self; the disappointment and disapproval from folks and the many more. What kind of life will this be? I don’t know but a route of hardship, for that, I am sure. I have heard and seen so much. The tears I shed and many other sleepless nights I bear, can someone out there end all this and build a real utopia for these helpless souls instead? No one ever says that this path is going to be easy, no one ever did say that there will be a happy ending waiting for us at the end of the rainbow, but there is always hope, but yet it seems to be fantasy more instead.

Some feelings I got after watching Crystal Boys…

RAIN RAIN GO AWAY

Has been raining much these days, making me not wanting to leave my humble house. =p Sianxx.. Later got class I dont feel like going. Very cold. I dont have enough money to spend le... How??? Haiz... I need to go and get a sugardaddy soon lolx.. Or sugarmummy also can... Jus someone who can support me will do. At least for the next few months. Haha... Wishful thinking wor.

My life has been pretty boring these days. Staying at home to rot, going out to hang around with friends or just end up in class and stress.... Tat's all... =p Chasing all blues away..

IF YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP….

Recently, friends around me are having some relationship problems. I have friends taking a break from each other; I have friends getting dumped after sleeping with the new date etc. It is sad, but there are so much more than love. Yet, most of the time, people and up feeling sad mostly due to relationship problem. Haha, that includes me too. I comprehend that it is hard to let go and most of the time it is not true that we don’t want to. It’s we can’t bear to. It is just a thin line that differ a long term relationship to a short term relationship. That is how much are you willing to try and make it work. Yet don’t overdo it. Because at the end of the day, the person that will be crying may not be you yourself but other people around you too.

IF YOU HAVE TO BREAK UP….

Here are 5 good suggestions (they are good because I say so… lolx…) that you can try out, I am not 100% sure that they will be as effective but hey, why not just give it a try?

1. Go cry out loud and get sad, then move on. (Don’t hide your feelings! Call a good friend and turn to the person, bottle all emotions inside will only result in breaking down sooner or later. After that, you have your fair share of crying and moaning, get up and move on. Don’t look back till you are ready, by then, there will be a smile on your face, treat the past as sweet memories)

2. Drown yourself with work and activities. (It is a form of escape but hey, it has proof to be as useful. Just by doing so, you will have no time, no energy and no will to think that much and just let time heal those nasty wound. At the same time, you are opening your chances to meet new people. Killing 2 birdies with 1 rock rite?)

3. Don’t get mad or upset, get even. (I am not asking you to kill/hate him/her. I am asking you to do well without him/her or at least use that to motivate yourself to do better. Slim down, look gorgeous and change your wardrobe. It works.)

4. Take a break from relationship. Cupid can wait. Evaluate what went wrong and try not to make the same mistake that you did.

5. Self-convince that it is for the better. Just be friends. (Sometime, friendship lasts longer that relationship. It’s true.)

With that, think it thru before making any decision, whateva the outcome, it's worth it.

BUSY BUSY BITCH

Have been rushing assignments and tryin to keep up with due dates... Still jobless and very much at home slacking. Exams are coming... Sian... How long more am I suppose to endure all these… How to reach my goal like tat… How to get married like tat… Argh!!!

A man biggest failure is not willing to settle down in a relationship with the person he love and a woman biggest failure is believing that she can change the one she love. Unfortunately, it does not work that way.

TO GO OR NOT TO GO

Date: 09 Aug 06
Time check: 0411hrs
Venue: In my room, in fornt of my PC

Same old topic, I dont wan to re-address to it anymore. Silly Goldfish thinks it's time to say goodbye to silly piggy. As much as I want to go on, the barriers in front are too strong and too much to handle. Being up the whole night trying to work it out, talking to a third party helps but then it all goes back to square one. To let go or continue...

PS: If i will to see you 2molo, it means that I want to continue, workin it out. If not, please dont disturb me anymore. A few months or more, after I can finally get over you, we can still be good friend. I'll call.

The thin line that breaks LTR and STR is based on how much are both parties willing to work things out.

PINK IS THE COLOUR!

Haa.. Spread the joy!~ I have just finally gotten my PINK IC, and yes, please call me MR.WONG! Cool crap! Haha..

Went back camp again today, hopefully that will be the very last time I will need to be there. Next stop, complete my studies. I have like less than 2 years more so hopefully by 24 years old, I can really take a break from all these and focus on my career path. It's not that easy, mind you. I want to be one of the top. So that indirectly means that I gonna work my way up. Like it or not.

Spent my whole morning in camp, well... Had lots of memories back there, from all the getting together as a signaller platoon to sick of all the play out. From there I moved on to be a S1 clerk, worst shithole, but I make it thru. It's never easy to survive there. Honestly, I think I did a pretty great job surviving that place. She shook my hand and that marks the end of National Slavery. LOLx... I took a look of my pink IC, yeah, 2 plus years ago, I let it go...

Was taking a bus and I did pass my old schools, saw a bunch of 15-16 walking around, fooling and chatting with each other on their way back home. Today is monday. Haha... I used to hate yet love Monday. I hated the fact I have to put on my tie. It's a hot hot day as alway and of coz that will result in a very bad tempered me. Yet, I have CCAs on Monday and there is air-con. It's cool to just manage a bunch of juniors interacting with them. =p

How time flies, haiz... I feel so old lei. I have just passed another stage of my life. I am no longer a youngster. I am not under 21 anyone. I am moving towards an uncle-ish day. Wake up, work, eat, work, sleep and wake up. There goes one day. Repeat that process and oops, I am no longer young anymore. Scary har!~

THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED PINK!

Well, 2 years ago, this day... I am somewhere far from mainland Singapore. Somewhere so near yet so far, the grass are evergreen etc... All I get to do everyday was to blindly follow orders and command. I was a lifeless fit zombie.

This coming monday, I will be getting my pink IC, yes yes, I repeat... PINK IC! Come repeat after me, PINK IC! Correct! Yes! Wohooho!!!!

The wait is over. I am no longer a slave, National Slavery Committee has decided to return me my deed. From this monday onwards, I am a FREE BIRD!

That means me back to the start pt, once I am free... That will also mean that I am jobless, nobody gonna feed and house me anymore. Worst, no more income! OMG!!!

But still the joy is everywhere. There gonna be a party going on, yeah!

Be yourself, go your way. Smile! It's not the end, it's the start of a new story...

10 REASONS TO BE HAPPY OVER ORD

There are like a million reasons to smile, when I finally get my PINK IC. Mainly because...

1. Life has become much more colourful. No more jus BLACK(hair & CC) and green(uniform).

2. Morning has never been so bright and shiny. No more waking up at 5 plus am and kiss 5BX goodbye. Mucks!

3. Finally I do not need to use ARMY language. (Ch** By*!, Fuc* yo*! L*n Jia*, blah blah blah... you know wat I mean.)

4. No more, " Yes Sir, Yes Sir, 3 bags 'fool'!"

5. Cookhouse? NO WAY! I get to choose wat I want to eat.

6. K.I.D.S.? Haha.. I am NOT a Knock-It-Down Specialist anymore, for I gonna ORD!

7. Get charged? I am not a handphone so please dont charge me. No more fear.

8. I can walk around anyway, with my IPOD! I more fear...

9. I get to spend more time with my family, friends and of cause loved ones...

10. I am FREE! FREEDOM!!!


Some cookies are meant for ORD personnel!!
FROM FISHTANK...

TRY

Unhappy it may seems, I am sittin' on my seat, listening to Nelly Furtado - Try. I felt kinda depress lately, mainly due to my relationship unsolved problems. All I can do it try, the more you ask from me, the freedom you want, the care and concern with support for whatever you do, all I can do is try. It may seems to be the easiest word but truly, it's not. I have to fight all odds to get here, no I dont want to give you up just because we live in different world with different lifestyle and behaviour. But I am really tired. I am not myself lately, I have no idea how long can I last, and bet you too. I have so many issues with you and all we can do is to sort it out slowly, hopefully, steady.

I question myself so much lately and worried is it then end. I wonder aloud, trying to sort it out and till now. I am lost at a crossroad. I guess I seriously will not get into another relationship any time sooner. It's not just sitting there and leaving the problem alone and pray it will move on by itself. I dont believe in that. I can see that you are trying hard, I can realli see so. But it breaks my heart staring at you trying to fight your inner self. I want an end to all this sometimes so much, I did tot of sayin out the forbidden words. I am losing my grip. Why do I feel lonely without you around?

Whatever you wan, I can give you that, I promise. But seriously, I think our path more towards friendship instead. Sometimes, you make me feel so loved. Yet, somedays, i jus can't seem to even get to see you. But there is a thing for sure, you are very sweet. Thank you for everythin. I will not give you up. I still want to try, till we both come to a pt when we just can't take it anymore, we wan a quit.

MY WISHLIST =)

All I need now is...

1. A new PC computer:
HP Pavilion dv2000 series Notebook PC / HP Media Center PC

2. A new Handphone:
w810i (seriously I dont know which fone to get)

3. A new wallet. (It's time to get a new wallet lor.)

4. A decent good holiday! (Bangkok, Bali, Bintan... Away from this country and take a break.)

5. A whole new look. (My hair needs to go, and dyed. Haha...)

And last but not least,
6. A job to foot the bill. =p

TIRED, JUST TIRED

Just four more working days to go, yet it seems to be so far far away. I have been working my heads off for the past weeks, not seeing much sunlight and trust me, by the time i knock off from my office, it's late, very very late.

I reached home about 11 plus last night, bathed and settle down before i sleep. Woke up at 7 this morning and my dad drove me back to camp. He, as always, reminded me to keep my cool, bear thru this last 4 days and I can be free, hopefully. Just only looking forward to be away from all these problems and backstabbing. I hate such working envirnoment. Why can't people work together, giving and taking.

I believe that in life, everything is a two-way traffic. There is inclusive of RESPECT. As many said, if you want others to respect you, show them that you respect them too. No matter wat, I survive all these for the past year or so, I believe I can survive.

Shao En is coming back... Hmmm, kinda excited to see him again. Looking forward to it. No doubt! Till then, I will survive the black claws.

FREEDOM

Just have to hang on some more weeks... Some more days to go... I will be free...

Just have to close my eyes some more... Sleep and wake up. Another day goes on...

Just want to close my ears, not to hear all the words, and I can do my work...

BOY & GALS

Guys drink to forget about the girl...
Girls drink to think back about the guy...

When guys are in love, they become poor.
When girls are in love, they become pretty...

Guys can forget, but cannot forgive...
Girls can forgive, but cannot forget..

Guys care the most about the quantity of love...
Girls care the most about the quality of love..

Guys break-up when they feel love from another
girl...
Girls break-up when they feel the feeling of
separation from her man...
Guys feel curiosity towards all girls...
Girls feel curiosity towards guys who are
interested in her..

When guys are heartbroken, they try to forget
about the girl by going
out with another girl...
When girls are heartbroken, they try to find his
characteristics from
another guy...

Guys wish to be her first love... .
Girls wish to be his last love...

"Women are nothing but trouble,
And Men are nothing but trouble seekers."

How true is this... Hmmm...

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

For the past week plus, I have been in camp workin, clearing work and getting 'arrow-ed' to do more work. It's not like I m complaining but seriously, I am quite sick of working for my boss. She is not worth us slogging out our heart and killing our brain cells for. I am seriously not happy with work but all I am doing is holding on. Just want to get the hell out of the place. "Jus hold on Samuel, you are near to the end. Just a bit more..."

My mum went for an ops. Worried but more or less she is fine. I spent my whole day in SGH yesterday to keep her accompany. She looked very much in pain right after she was taken out for the op. She took her rest and by 7 plus, she felt better before we took her home.

I having looking for jobs. Just looking, flipping thru classified and surfing the net, tryin to know my market value. Hmmm, came to a conclusion that I will take up jobs around 1.8K, that is my rate. Haha.. Was reading Celest's blog, he was complaining about his 1.2K job interview. LOLx... Chill out pal. U can find better pay by selling your backside I think. =p Kinda looking forward to go to school and end it fast. Hm(A)mm... What to do, I am living in Spore. All the pple around are fighting hard to get the best job, cars, housings, blah blah blah.... I need to go as far and fast as I can to be the best. That is as good as sayin no break is allowed and YES, I mean NO break, just to take a breather, to take a long good oversea holiday etc. I want to own my roof over my head, I wan to own my very own mini. Well, that is the price I need to pay. That's for sure. No doubt about the effort I need to insert and to ensure I m the best. Haiz.. I think life is really more than that.

Do you know that only us asian are working our heads off? Don't you think that there are so much more in life rather that "eat, work, sleep" lifestyle? All we ever want is money, power and even if possible, fame. Is it all worth it? I believe that there is a deeper meaning in life than trying to outdo each other, stabbing your best friend's to be the best, kicking others down ensuring you are on the top. You are the BEST.

Are you Happy? Are you truly Happy?

I LOST MY PHONE

Hmm, that is fast. 1 month plus ago I am still looking forward to my holiday and now... Today is the last day lor. Sad sad... Need to go back to the battalion liao. Haiz... 6 more weeks to go and then I will be free again! Yes! I will be free! Haha.. But still I need to clear the stupid IPPT and of coz HR AUDIT!!!=p

I bet my dear is having a good time shopping in Japan rite now. Damn I miss you soon much. Haiz. If only I can go along with you. But well, I shall look forward to our KL tour instead ba. =p

Anyway, I lost my handphone so if anyone who has my handphone number can drop me a sms. Cheers!~

LIFE IS A ... ...

How will you describe your life? A bed of rose? A hell pit? Too many ups and downs?

I am stuck at the same old crossroad once again. To forgive or not? Hmm, It's more than meets the eyes, my heart is hoping for a second chance but my mind is asking me to snap out of it. Once bitten, twice shy. I dont need a friend who does not have morale values and trust in. I am tired of human conflicts and it's true that a man's heart is wider than the ocean. He will never be contented with what he has. Never. It's not that hard to let go now even though I bear not to. It's still early before more damages are caused.

I am starting to lose my grip, my faith and nevertheless, hope...

JUS A DAY

Jus got back. Hmm, met up with deardear and my newly formed grp of friends haha... Does that sound rite? Never mind, anyway, the whole story goes like all of us are young and happening pple getting together doing silly and crazy things together.

We went to town to have lunch. Had Fish n Co and sent Xiao Qi's friend to work b4 we went down to Chinatown to meet up with Justine and Angeline. We left the place for some dirty work at Bugis area and headed back to Orchard. Met up with deardear and had dinner. Then all of us went to Acid Bar for a drink. Sent dear to taxi stand before going back. =p

It's fun to be around them all. All the engery and will are just veri positive. Tat's all for the dae.

MY UP NORTH HOLIDAE

I went up to Genting Highland last weekend. Hmm... Not tat a happy and enjoyable trip but still nothing beats spending Mother's Day with your family together. So well, not gonna bitch too much about it. Aniway, my mum did enjoy herself there and my granny too so well, it serves its purpose. Haha...

Sianzz, this sat will need to go Angeline's place coz Uncle wants all of us to be there at 1730hrs. Hmmm... So no more surprise for deardear liao. Was thinking of booking a hotel room on Saturdae and then 'Guess Wat?' haha... I bet deardear will be damn surprise. BUT, i get to save up $$ and of coz can meet all my gd friends so well, I guess deardear will be coming along to join us later. Maybe, we will be clubbing later, or maybe, we will be playing mahjong. Wateva it is, wateva mood it comes.

I LET YOU DOWN

Deardear I'm sorry, veri sorry. Nothin to say. No excuse no explaination nor do I have a right to do anything now. Let you decide my fate. Your choice.

Here is my 100 sorrys:

I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry. I'm Sorry.

MY VOTE COSTS 900 BUCKS

Well, next saturday is the BIG day. The very 1st time in my life will I get this chance, to VOTE! Haha... (Picture is blury coz I fotoshoped it. I think I dont need more stalkers in my life, so as to safeguard my family and of coz, myself!)Who will I vote for? Hmm... Well, I wan to think a bit more but my mind is more or less set. Haha, well, maybe it's time to repay for the $$ i took.



tHinK thEsE OVeR...

1. Rules and promises are meant to be broken. Dont give promises blindly.

2. What do you want to archieve in life at this point in your life?

3. How open and real are you? Been hiding facts about yourself?

Keep pondering. =p Nite folks...

FACTS DON'T LIE

Well, the month of April is reaching the end and very soon, eventually my break will end and I will be stuck in the same old office with the same old pple doing the same old work. So I really really want to be doing something more meaningful then sitting at home and 'nua-ing'. But then again, the chances of me doing something veri much meaningful is as good as zero. Haha...

I went out todae with my dear. Hmmm, Wanted to go rice table but then we ended up in Far East. I was not very happy with the change of location but I soon realise that what my dear said was rite. I spent too much. I understand and comprehend that it's a fact which I know but trying as hard as I can to change and I will need your full support. U make me ponder over my spending ability which come to the point that I sometime really overspend. Hmmm, I think we live in different world. I can tell it will be a cold start but we need to iron and work it all out. Have faith in us, K? I will make it right for US. I really hope to go tour with u alone for a few days but the choice is yours. =p No pressure. I am not unreasonable la. And btw, I know you dont wan me to go clubbing lor!~ Hahazzz....

Will be seeing my deardear 2molo. Cooking instant noodles for lunch and armed with chips, BEN&JERRY ice-cream, some DVDs and my bed! Haha.. Hope you will enjoy your short stay with me. =p

LOVE IS A CONTRADICITION

Love is a contradiction.
It's hard to find but easy to lose,
makes you feel good but hurts you so bad,
opens your eyes but makes you blind,
fills up your heart then tears it apart.
You don't really have to hold hands.
You don't really have to see each other to make one
feel what's inside, but you just have to be true
to let love see what's with you.

Don't let doubts lose the magic of love because
it's not everyday you meet the person who has
the magic to let you fall in love.

The meaning of love is inexplicable.

Q&A SESSION

Ok, this post is up to answer some close friends questions with regards to me. Yes! Just 5 simple questions what my other friends have been asking me so I put it up here! All about me! So here we go...

Q1. How long is my break?
A: From now till start of june. So do feel free to date me. K? Haha... =p

Q2. What plan do you have for this break? (more for my family)
A: Nope. 'Nua' at home and enjoy every single breath i take. Seriously, this is the one and only last few time i can enjoy myself, not working and been stressed out. Well, I plan to whip up some dishes, 1st of all, PANCAKE. If it all goes well, next stop, CHEESECAKE!~ Haha... Well, May shall be a month when u will get to see another human fatso!

Q3: Who is the person i am dating? ( to all my not-so close friends)
A: The day will come and u shall see us hand-in-hand., dont be shy. Come up to me and say Hi, I promise I don't bite!~

Q4: So ani crazy silly thing(s) done yet?
A: Hmmm.... Sex? haha.. I jus can't think of anithing rite now... =p

Q5: Looking forward to meet anione?
A: Yes! My shi-mei Justine! haha... She left for thailand and will onli be back on 9th May so looking forward to see her soon. Other than that, Miss my deardear much much and so, till fridae i guess.

OFF AND LEAVE

had a day like no other day. simply tired and totally stressed out. sometime human beings are jus too cruel. or maybe the problem lies with me... not able to fully work with loads and stress. well, looking at the bright side, i m clearing offs and leaves nowadays. well... well... i m just looking forward to see my rest days.

didn't see my deardear the whole day, miss my deardear much much. haha... well... this is the honeymoon period i guess. =p silly baby i miss u. mucks!~

SILLY GOLDFISH TURNS 22!

In just few more hours time I turn 22 this year. Yeah! Gettin older, wiser, bigger and better. Haha.. I hope. All in all, todae has been bad. Really depress sia. Dont wan to talk about it at all. But still coming back home makes my morale much higher. Was thinking, hoping that I will have more freedom and $$. Haha... I hope for more time off away from work and may I have time for family and dear. Amen!

=p Happy Birthdae to me... happy BIRTHDAY to mEeeee, Happy bIrtHdaY to sAmuEl! HappI bday to mEEEEE....

HAPPY EASTER DAE!

Hello, Happy Easter Day everyone!~ Haha.. esp. to U Daniel! Hmmm, And happy chinese Bday to myself lalaa... Today rained the whole day, was so nice staying at home and I took a nap in the afternoon. I am enjoying my day so far, maybe just becoz I am in a gd mood todae.

Dada went to cycle just now. Raining wor. Dont fall sick sick. Hmmm, 2molo is dada's 22nd bdae!! Happy Birthdae silly baby!! Miss U. Mucks!

And to all my other friends, this is my BIRTHDAE WEEK!!! **hint hint... I wan a crumpler bag!!! haha....

WALK-A-MILE

Had a real good fun nite last evening. Was with my gd friend and his lovers gang. And I, am the outside yet so close friend. I met them at 7 plus in the evening and treated them dinner. After which, we went to jalan jalan in town, had a urge to buy a crumpler bag that nite but well, the thought of my mum "grounding" me stop me. I know she will not be able to do so but I am sure she will be nagging till I go mad. Well, sometime later in the nite before the movie started Mel told me some "jin bao" news. Hahazz...

Lets go back to my nite, haha, ok, after the show, we went to this 24hrs coffeeshop, to eat mee. Dont ask me why, jus have this cute urge for mee. And I am not the one who started all the mee nonsense wor, it's Jimmy so we had mee. Not veri nice, it's just not bad. And the most annoying thing happen that nite is that there were 2, not 1 but 2 indians sweepin the area while we are eating. Haiz... Really spolit the mood wor. Why can't they wait? And worst, I dont understand why can't they lift up the table but must drag... You think you are a queer queen arh.. Must drag! Haha... Sickening! Haha... Awhile later, we can't stand them so much, we left the place and walk all the way to a bugis mac that is open 24 hrs. Sat there and chatted till 5 plus, we walked from there all the way to Kallang MRT station to take a bus home. =p So all in all, I walked from Far East Plaza to Kallang MRT station last nite, or you will say this morning. Yawnzz....

BIRTHDAY CAKE

I want to clear all my offs and leaves! I am only looking forward to be free from the evil arms. Hmmm, tiring day I have to say. There are endless things to do todae. Had lunch with my S1 todae in NorthPoint didn't know that my Chief Clerk bought a cake for me wor. Haha.. I know that she is not all evil but still there are many things that she did realli pissed me off so I will not give her any credit for doing that although I am kinda touched, maybe a little. Haha.. I cut the cake and served everyone in the office. Well, Welfare Clerk wat! I enjoyed doing that lei, weird!

Hmmm.. BlurBlur was fighting with Dawn last nite. Haiz... I think have to buy her a new home... Away from the rest. Sadsad... Blur, I am broke wor, be nice ok? =p

Haven't heard from you the whole dae... Busy studying ma? Never sms me or call me... Sad wor. =[ Happy studyin. Sure call u later =p

BLURBLUR I LOVE YOU!~

Some people existence is a blessing to many others but yet to some others, it maybe jus more than a curse in fact. When I constantly keep trying to remind myself we are just friends, I know I am in the shit hole once again. I will avoid becoming the melancholic soul again. I have to work on it. If evasion helps I will risk it. I have not heard from you since fridae nite till now. Jus a few second conversation saying that you are not home and was busy wasn’t much of a help. I know I have sink in deeper, regardless how much I tried to convince myself that we are friends, it seems more of that I am only lying to myself and you. And yes, I just realized, you are able, you want to commit but the better half is not me. So I choose to take a footstep backward. I chatted with somebody and I knew that you really liked him a lot. I failed. I should learn from Berdley, maybe I should just give up on love. Give you up and I don’t know. You confuse me together with yourself. You make me feel important and love yet I just can’t seem to get enough of you. So maybe it’s a test god put me into, to see if I can prevail and overcome all these before meeting a special someone.

My friend told me some days back, long term relationship is full of craps. Nothing lasts forever and especially in this circle. Just enjoy the moment and when it’s gone, it’s time to move on to someone else. I had to agree coz I am left with no other choice not to. I am giving myself one chance right. If you reply me. There is still hope. If not, I really really don’t know what to do or say. Am I just someone on the street who existence doesn’t bother you at all? Maybe.

Dear friend, if all these did not happen, we will still be best friend. I know you are feeling miserable, I know you need someone there to talk to and support you. But whatever you did that day, I feel disgusted. Not that you blew ya top. But it is how you treat your better half hurts me too. Jimmy may not be the best candidate but I am sure he is the best and most loving guy you ever met. Please agree with me. If these 2 years you feel nothing at all. I have nothing left to say. The crush will always be a crush.

I am home the whole day. Daniel bought back 3 hamsters today. One of it is his, called “Dusk”. The other is call “Dawn” which belongs to his galfriend, Amy. Mine, haha.. Is called “Blur” coz I think he is so so cute and blur like me. So fun. They are so so cute. BlurBlur I love you. =p

MY SATURDAY

Saturday is a day when you should fully rest your body, take a nice long break from the hectic and busy working daysand return to a more slow path lifestyle. Best if there is a glass of chilled fresh milk and a slice of creamy cheese cake... yummm....Regardless whatever things that you are doing, as long as your morning is not stuck in camp doing some rubbish duty, it's not a waste.

But lady luck loves to play a trick on me. I did a SATURDAY duty in FEB and APRIL!!!!!!! How and why me!!!! Haiz... Sad sad... I wan to go out. I want to be in my room resting and doing what I do best - Get fat. Nope! I wan to suntan today!! I wan to go for a swim! Why! W-H-Y! I guess I must have done something wrong. So I prepared myself to do nothing much at all, just surf and chat todae online and slp my afternoon away. The morning part is till bearable, as there are many chat-mates online early, god knows why did they wake up so early today... As if there is a big happening event going on. Haha...

I need a holiday, away from my office workload and chief clerk.
I want to be keep a distance from the camp, away from SAF.
I pray for freedom, and more of understanding, not to be tied down.
I long for a long-term relationship, without all the big fights every now and then.

Bday cumming soon!~ Looking forward to see my long break. =p

ORD

When you keep pushing one person nearer and nearer to the cliff, will he fight back or jump off? When you keep pulling a rubber band, will it break or just extend it original length? If a person keep on going, tearing you apart... What will you do? Sian.... I wanna cry... Why is she so evil to us... Even when we are gonna ORD?? Haiz... Why!!! I just want to ORD in peace!!!

WHY NOT JUST KILL ME!

My whole body is burning with the flame of anger! Too pissed to talk... If one day anyone can understand how I feel, you might have just been pushed off the cliff by your own boss, leaving you to die in the wild! Do you believe it?!?! My Chief Clerk wants to make me stay for another audit which means that I will have to clear my offs and leaves earlier, but with the workload I am handling, there is no way I will be able to do so. NVM. Worse, didn't give me the as promised 5 days off and still want me do free labour work, without giving me off for this year audit!!! Wat she think this is? National Slavery!? OMFG! I am so burning inside, I swear I will F*** her upside down some nice F***ing day!!!! Argh!!!!!!!!!! How???? I can't seem to get this rite! Arh! How can she do this to me!!!!!!!

I posted some Campus Superstar clips, nice songs! Have to view!!!

KISS GOODBYEby Campus Superstar - ZHI YANG



LIAN AI DA REN by Campus Superstar - ZHI YANG & XIN HUI


HUI YOU NA ME YI TIAN by Campus Superstar - GERALDINE

HALF DAY OFF

Home rite now... Had half day off this 2230, gonna make good use of the time... Didn't realli expect my campmates to be reading my blog, haha.. Thanks pals. Anyway, 3 cheers to HQ bty for winning tug-of-war! Haha, was real cool looking at the 2 champs from my bty. Haha... They seems to make the whole game effortless. =p

Had being busy these days, with work and personnal committment too. So kinda of like lack of slp... zzZZzz... But I am happier this way, it's more ME! I enjoy the hectic and busy lifestyle and nevertheless, the time I spend at home with my family. =p

Will be going out to Cine @ Orchard later to catch a movie and I am sure that it will be cool! My dept outing wat. Haha... Looking forward to it. Also, my bday is cummin!!! Yeah! But I dont wan to turn 22. Old old liao le. Sad Sad. Dear 'age', please do not leave any mark on my face... I dont wan a saggy face! OMG, I will sure throw all the mirror at home 1 lor. Maybe will be meeting a friend for dinner. That's all for the day I guess, can't squeeze in animore program liao...

A DAY AT HOME

Silly SamSam is Crazy, nutty and funny. Silly SamSam loves to slack at home alone and listen to nice songs on the radio, with a mug of rich milo. Jus chills at home without anyone bothering and asking you anything, that is wat Silly SamSam looking forward to enjoy. Silly SamSam pictures his room to be white and bright, singing along with the tunes and crawl up to his queen size bed slowly. 'Tat's what I call life.' Silly SamSam muttered.

STATUS (THIN LINE BETWEEN FRIENDS AND LOVERS)

Was it something I said, or was it something you are hiding. Was it that I am not good enough or was it that there is more than meets the eye. If I have to carefully select the words to use in my every sentence, does that mean that you fell in love with me? Cause that is something you will not expect from a friend but lover. We can’t be just friends. Self-convincing shall not work this time I hope, it is time to face the truth, the reality and stop running away. Every time you face some obstruction along the path, you will choose to take the easy way out, avoid it rather than face the obstacles. I think I love you enough to give you everything. But sadly, my care and concern was not reciprocated. I know u hate yourself whenever you feel that you should have treasure me more. I am clearly acquainted with the fact that it will take time, you love me but you don’t say it out. You said we should just stay as friend but deep down you know we can’t. You questioned if I am jealous if you talk about your crush, but you also said you will too if I mention something nice about others but you. You will not be that bothered with what I said if you treat me as a friend, cause you never did.

I didn't go to East Coast in the end. Not that I am lazy nor is that I have a change of heart, just sometime, things dont alway go your way. I ended up in my aunt's shop and seriously, I regretted going over. I was foolish enough to go over to be made a fool out of myself. This is gonna be the one and only time it will happen. Nothin much happened today, just sad that I had a little disagreement with someone, must be something that I said. I think I should leave the person alone for awhile, just long enough to give us the space we need and time for me to learn how to be not be bothered with things. I find it rather hard to comunicate if the person continues to behave like that, really not very healthy start I presume. All in all, this got me thinking and questioning over things again.

LOVE OR LUST ?!

It does not matter if we don’t meet everyday, it does not matter if you are away at some other places where I can no longer feel your presence, as you are safe in my heart. That is where I reserved a place to hold you.

Seasons may change from winter to spring; people may die and rise again. Nothing lasts forever. This unfortunate includes feeling too. Even true love may perish with the wind, together with all the promises made. Passionate kisses shall be forgotten, or at least memories will be frozen and hidden in a corner where nobody is able to hunt it out, as long as the person continue to lie to himself. It’s rather sad to see human has so little trust among each other, no faith in a relationship and worse, dread of commitment. The ‘C’ word causes more headache than joy. Freedom shall be sacrificed, for that, is a big no-no. Only self-centered will never understand the happiness of being attached and committed.

Had a damn tiring day, woke up and rushed down to meet my camp-mate and his galfriend. We had lunch first in Suki Sushi before we entered the KTV. Haha, had a real good time man. Honestly I didn’t expect his girlfriend to be what I saw, not in a bad way but jus different in some way I picture her to be. Nice and lovable couple. Haha, and I didn’t know that my campmate, Jerry can sing quite well. I know he can sing but like how he sing just now… can make many little girlies go gaga and flying.

I sang quite a bit of songs and of course I LOVE singing. I didn’t really care if people are enjoying the songs a not I just want to sing for all to hear. That’s so typically me haha, but hey, it’s mine prerogative!

Haha, I will be going to sleep now as I am goin to East Coast Park tomolo. Hope I can wake up and my friend can too. Have a strong feeling that I will end up elsewhere which I do not wish it to happen. =p Till then, nite folks... Please keep the hugs coming in. The flow is rather... haiz.... Sad....


FIRST DAY by 孙燕姿 featuring F.I.R and Mayday

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT

If life is as simple as ABC, or as easy as 123, I guess there will not be anymore need for sadness in the world. If there is no sadness, how will we know if we are truly happy? Hmmm, human feeling is indeed very complicated. You want to be with the person you love, but the care and concern is not been reciprocate, you felt undesired. But yet, if the person does respond to the love, how many people out there can really truly treasure this love and ensure it last?

Had a long day today in camp. Can I say I consider one of the longest day in the week. As usual, work drags and drain most of my life and time. Just can’t seem to understand why some time people just can’t to take it easy, especially on a Friday? I guess maybe that is what people called, “ NO LIFE”. Haha, I have to endure another 2 pus months of nonsense and crap from my office, not mentioning the queen of all clerks, the one and only blackie, LUCY. For more than 12 years she patiently sits there, in the same seat, same position doing the same old job and reading the same directives. I can’t seem to understand lots of things about her, about why she took that much pride in her work, or should I say, batches and batches of clerks hard work, making her who she is today. And the best way she can ever thank you enough is by not sending your skinny white boney arse into somewhere over the rainbow, or least behind the metal bars. Ingrate.

Weekend is here for good but short. As usual, Friday is short cause by the god damn time I reach home, it’s few more hours to the next day and I usually will be so drained out that I can barely even bring myself out to at least have fun. There’s all for today as I am too tired to continue…

A WALK TO REMEMBER

The flame inside paper lantern warmed me from within. The memories from the past still seed inside me, causing unwanted nightmares till dawn. My eyes are blinded by the dark facts that the latern in my hand don't seem to be any help at all.

We have been moving in circles, running in the track, unable to break the chain. The same old reason causing the unease inside me craving for a favourable change. People say that if you love a person, don't try to change him/her. You love him/her for who the person is. As a whole package, both the good and also the bad. Others said that if you love a person enough, you will be willing to make changes unconditionally, even till a stage you don't even realise that you did. Self-centered soul can never comprehend what joy true love can bring, cause their souls are trapped inside them. Love may bring much happiness and joy. But it could kill you in a way one can never ever imagine. The burning feeling seeking for an escape from all the pain and hurt is good enough to drive anyone mad and crazy. I vivdly remembered this movie "A Walk to Remember", I think everyone should go watch it at least once. I love the soundtrack too. Real good.


A WALK TO REMEMBER by Mandy Moore

WE ARE MERELY HUMANS

Don’t paint a picture so beautiful but take it all away.
Don’t give any promises when they are meant to be broken.
Don’t say the magic words when it does not come out from your heart.
Don’t touch any life if you mean to break it.
Don’t start the mushy conversation when it is just sweet nothing.
Take a chance, fall in love.
Had a fight, breakaway.
Heavy hearted, walk alone.
It’s a cycle, we are all merely humans.
How strong a chain is all depend on its weakest link.
How strong a person is yet depends on some many other factors.


Even after breakup, people tend to hope for the better, wishing their relationship could turn into friendship instead. That isn’t impossible, but honestly, how many of us can make it possible? People lied to themselves hoping that all the lies will undo the love their made, all the hopes pinned in the past, and the empty promises that they once shared. That is sad. But it’s true and real. Honey coated promises may sound sweet but the blade hiding behind will wound your heart, causing a wound that only time can heal. Not just little girl will they only fall for that, most guys too, those I called foolish lovers are silly enough. After all, we are merely humans. Hoping for the best is what all of us do best.

SIN IN THE BEDROOM

Ok, I do comprehend that I have not been blogging recently (ok, just only these few days) and it is understandable that in any point of time you folks miss me that much and can’t seem to enough of me… Well, I am sorry. U see, I did clearly stated that I will not blog everyday so you all will just have to bear with it. Haha…. (SamSam is an EGO man.)

Oh well, it had been a happening night yesterdae. Met up with a friend without actually knowing that he brought 2 other gals along. Haha, they are soooooo fun to talk and play with. Believe it or not, I chatted with both of them from like 12.30 am till 6 am in the morning in Maxwell Market. I actually realised that the gal that I have tons of conversation is so much like one of my best friend from my poly years. I totally neglected my friend. It has been since ice age did I had a good chatty conversation, or should I call it a ‘bitching session’? Hmmm… U folks shall decide.

A good friend of mine asked me why did I choose this blog ID. Well, I seriously don’t know. Maybe I think that in this blog, there shall not be any hyper and camouflage. So I decided to extract the word ‘naked’ from my dictionary and use it express the fact that I am real. R-E-A-L! Up-close REAL! ‘Rice bowl’ just popped out from ‘tim-buk-to’ and yes, wow-la, you get my blog!

There is counters in my blog on the top left hand corner which I called “Hugs Total” aka, ‘BLESS SAMUEL’. You can bless me with your love and of coz, the more the merrier. So please don’t hesitate anymore! Just do the RIGHT thing. Haha, till then, bless me! (For those who visits my site and yet refuse give me a hug, may your conscience haunt your night away!)

PS: The red patch on the bottom of my neck is called a LOVEBITE! So stop asking! Haha, so fun.

BECAUSE OF YOU by Kelly Clarkson

SEE HOW I KILL TIME IN CAMP

When someone gets real bored in camp, trust me on this, he will end up doing silly things like what I am doing now. Yes, I am blogging, so what?! Sue me! Haha... I am NOT gonna be the next blogging queer nor a diva-wannabe so please don't compare me with those big time blogger. OK? I am just silly crazy me. Just me. That's all. What you see is what you get, out from me. No hype, no flaws. Haha.. Not too sure about the flaw part but damn sure you can get upclose and personal with me thru this little site. If you do love me... Needs me, and just can't seem to get enough of me.. Well... Here I am, there to brighten your night with a little more warmth.