BLURBLUR I LOVE YOU!~

Some people existence is a blessing to many others but yet to some others, it maybe jus more than a curse in fact. When I constantly keep trying to remind myself we are just friends, I know I am in the shit hole once again. I will avoid becoming the melancholic soul again. I have to work on it. If evasion helps I will risk it. I have not heard from you since fridae nite till now. Jus a few second conversation saying that you are not home and was busy wasn’t much of a help. I know I have sink in deeper, regardless how much I tried to convince myself that we are friends, it seems more of that I am only lying to myself and you. And yes, I just realized, you are able, you want to commit but the better half is not me. So I choose to take a footstep backward. I chatted with somebody and I knew that you really liked him a lot. I failed. I should learn from Berdley, maybe I should just give up on love. Give you up and I don’t know. You confuse me together with yourself. You make me feel important and love yet I just can’t seem to get enough of you. So maybe it’s a test god put me into, to see if I can prevail and overcome all these before meeting a special someone.

My friend told me some days back, long term relationship is full of craps. Nothing lasts forever and especially in this circle. Just enjoy the moment and when it’s gone, it’s time to move on to someone else. I had to agree coz I am left with no other choice not to. I am giving myself one chance right. If you reply me. There is still hope. If not, I really really don’t know what to do or say. Am I just someone on the street who existence doesn’t bother you at all? Maybe.

Dear friend, if all these did not happen, we will still be best friend. I know you are feeling miserable, I know you need someone there to talk to and support you. But whatever you did that day, I feel disgusted. Not that you blew ya top. But it is how you treat your better half hurts me too. Jimmy may not be the best candidate but I am sure he is the best and most loving guy you ever met. Please agree with me. If these 2 years you feel nothing at all. I have nothing left to say. The crush will always be a crush.

I am home the whole day. Daniel bought back 3 hamsters today. One of it is his, called “Dusk”. The other is call “Dawn” which belongs to his galfriend, Amy. Mine, haha.. Is called “Blur” coz I think he is so so cute and blur like me. So fun. They are so so cute. BlurBlur I love you. =p